G U I L T Y F E E L I N G

I started this September with a confession for my naughty behavior. No one ever said and even God and the Bible didn't say that watching KOREAN DRAMA is a sinful deed. But, it said that whatever you did which do not bring any benefit on your life or it suddenly tied you, it is a sinful deed. Don't even try it!

and honestly, now, I feel like such a hollow. I believe that it was my fault of disobeyed God in my life. Well, it's absolutely simple things. I just didn't listen to HIS calling to pray at the exact time. I was watching Korean Drama on that time. And when I came back to do the prayer, HE wasn't there. And I felt like absolutely suck! I said that I loved HIM, but even one soft calling, I didn't obey. My guilty feeling is all over my mind and heart right now. Coz I know it isn't the first time I failed Him. I miss Him so much. But truthfully, I'm afraid to come back. I'm afraid to failed Him as before. But I can't stand the circumstances. I really need Him. I want to come back. 

Abba Father, will Your Hands widely open for me? 

My King, will your forgiveness flow for me?

My master, will you hold me like before?

coz I'd rather die than losing You in my life. How could I life with such a hollow heart. Only You I need in my life, Lord!

Kusangka kan kutemukan kedamaian
Kusangka kan kutemukan bahagia
Kucari didalam dunia
Namun aku kecewa

Kupikir mereka kan mengerti hatiku
Manusia tak akan mampu menyelaminya
Hanya Kau Tuhan yang mengerti isi hatiku
Dan isi jiwaku

Ijinkanlah ku kembali pulang
Dalam pelukanMu ku berlabuh
Biarkanlah ku bersimpuh
Dengan beribu sesal, dengan berjuta harap,  

dengan segenap rindu
Di hatiku

Ijinkanlah by Stranger played on my laptop while I was writing this note. 

How my heart long to Thy.

How my heart wanted to see Thy

when will i could come and see the Lord?

I wont fail you anymore...

Please forgive me...

Don't throw me away from Your presence

============================== Lee Naomi ================================