I Had a Dream

I had a dream. Just a simple dream that another girls may have in their lives. A dream of a family I built myself with a husband who loves me and provide everything I need. Together we will grow up the children using God’s Word as the first Guide Book at all. I found someone who was very kind and I thought he’s the one. I put my hope in him wholeheartedly. I thought he would make my dreams come true since it’s a simple dream. But many-many hardship I passed with him to come at the point that he wasn’t destined for me. My ruined dream, which was closer in my eyes that time, had shattered, buried, died tragically. 

One day, with an empty and broken heart, I came to get a new hope, a new living passion inside of my frozen heart to “Pesta Raja-Raja”. And yes, I found my new hope and HE gave me a new personal commandment for me for the next plan He gave to me.

After hearing the things HE said to me through HIS loving bride, my soul suddenly rejoices. My spirit fled with happiness. I feel the passion injected into me. THIS IS MY REPLACEMENT DREAM! THIS IS MY NEW DREAM! I HAVE FOUND IT!! CLEARLY, I WILL FIND MY TRUE DESTINY THROUGH THIS!

I know there will be a number of obstacles, but that’s strengthen my faith inside of HIM. I TRUST HIM! I KNOW HE IS GOD WHO PROVIDE! ONCE HE CALLED ME, HE WILL EQUIPPED ME AS WELL.

Dilemma just entered, when you came deeper into my heart. As a very good friend of mine, I admitted that your affection and care had almost unto me. My family’s expectation as well as my expectation of my future with you, suddenly filled my head. Yes, once you said you might leave me to go somewhere else, I almost done something that I might regret now. That’s why I got that dream. It just reminded me for my previous mistake. Remind me NOT TO PUT MY HOPE INTO SOMEONE ELSE. I MUST PUT MY HOPE, DREAMS, FUTURE, MY LIFE FOR JESUS ALONE SINCE HE IS THE OWNER OF MY LIFE. I might be forget about HIS COMMAND for me and my dream as HIS dream if I really accepted your offering hands that time. Not that I refused you yet. I’m just choose the the BEST and MY PRIORITY FOR SO LONG. Cause i know we could go together to fulfill HIS CALLING. It’s worth more, isn’t it?

Truthfully say, I truly put my hope in you once when you said your will to take me. I saw in my imagination, my dreams that shattered before, it lives again with you. BUT... MY LORD really don't wanna me do so... MY LORD HAD FINISHED WITH HIS JEALOUSY TOWARD MY PREVIOUS BOYFRIEND SINCE I PUT LOTS OF MY HOPE ON HIM. And surely HE don’t want to let me get another boyfriend just to make me ignore HIM once more.

I give you up into Jesus Hands, cause I know He will protect you as well as your heart. If one day, it will be our day to unite and be a couple, it will be. Now, I’m sorry for sure. I choose to be with my LORD for my lifetime until HE brings you HIMSELF into my life and bless our relationship. Once, I think it is okay to be with you officially, but You already know “the rule”. I can’t be with you yet. Many things to do before going to my very own tiny dream, I choose to fulfill MY LORD’s BIGGER DREAM first. I, also, have to despise my pride, my dreams, my family’s expectations, my selfishness, and eagerly to wait. You already know how hard for me, since truly, I wanna be with you when I come to my ex’s wed. Yes, I know, it some kind of show off. So that’s why, Lord wouldn’t allow me to do so. Still, we can be a very good friend. It’s always nice to talk to you. And i like the way you open your heart to share, so we can talk heart to heart many times. 

And for the time being, let put our eyes to JESUS only. Just wait patiently, do everything HE asked us to do first. Our portion will soon be coming. 

Jesus author of my life

Holder of my hand

I trust in You for all my days

Jesus there is none like You

Who love me like You

Who keep me like You do

Jesus You're the only one

In whom i put trust

In whom i put hope

You’ll never let me go

You will never change

You gave your life for me

That’s why i worship You